When parents separate or divorce, it can have a profound impact. The stress can be overwhelming as you struggle to deal with changes at home, new routines, connections to each parent and new financial realities. Separation and divorce are far more common occurrences.
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What are some emotions I may feel after the divorce?
- Shock – especially if you were not expecting the divorce
- Anger – either directed at your parents or at no one specifically
- Sadness
- Guilt – you feel like the divorce is your fault
- Anxiety – worrying about the future and who is going to take care of you
- Worry – you feel that in the future you will get divorced
- Fear – afraid of losing a parent
- Embarrassed – you do not want people to know that things in your family are changing
- Loneliness – no one understands you or understands what you are going through
- Relieved – there is now less tension at home
It is important to remember that it is not your fault. Divorce occurs because of problems between the parents. You will have a lot of feelings regarding the divorce and it is important to speak with another adult or a counsellor. Keeping your feelings bottled up can lead to depression.
What can I do to make dealing with divorce easier?
- Do not “take sides.”
- Don’t worry about the future. Talk to your parents about your concerns
- Keep living your life. Don’t put your life on hold to deal with your parent’s problems
- Keep the peace. You can’t do much to influence how your parents behave during a divorce, but you can ask them to do their best to call a truce to any bickering or unkind things they might be saying about each other
- Keep in touch. Going back and forth between two homes can be tough, especially if parents live far apart. Making an effort to stay in touch when you’re apart can keep both of you up-to-date on everyday activities and ideas.
- Figure out your strengths. How do you deal with stress? Do you get angry and take it out on siblings, friends, or yourself? Or are you someone who is a more of a pleaser who puts others first? Do you tend to avoid conflict altogether and just hope that problems will magically disappear?
- Let others support you. Talk about your feelings and reactions to the divorce with someone you trust
Learn more at
Safe Teens: Your parents are getting a divorce. Whether this is expected or unexpected, it is a traumatizing and overwhelming event to experience.
Teens Health: For many people, their parents’ divorce marks a turning point in their lives, whether the divorce happened many years ago or is taking place right now.
