Peer pressure is a feeling that you must do the same things as other people of your own age and social group in order to be liked or respected by them.
Peer pressure can be good because it can motivate you to be your best. For example, in a sports group you might feel peer pressure to practice hard and play well. This is good peer pressure because it can help you live healthy.
But, peer pressure can also be bad because it can bring you down from being your best. For example, your peers might pressure you to drink too much alcohol when you would rather not because you feel awful when you drink it and hate being drunk. Negative peer pressure can also tell you that you ‘aren’t good enough’.
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20 ways to avoid peer pressure
- Ask 101 questions. For example, if a pal pressures you to smoke, ask her why she smokes, how long she has smoked.
- Say “No” like you mean it. Make eye contact, then say “no” with authority. The more certain you are in your refusal, the less people will bug you.
- Back-up a no with a positive statement. For example, after you say no, tell them that you appreciate their offer for sharing.
- Be repetitive. Don’t hesitate to state your position over and over again.
- Practice saying no. Practice saying “no” in safe environments, like when your big brother asks you if you’d like to spend Saturday night doing his laundry.
- Get away from the pressure zone. Leave the scene… make your exit.
- Avoid stressful situations in the first place. If you know there’s going to be alcohol or drugs at a party and this will end up making you more nervous than having fun, make other plans.
- Use the buddy system. Find a friend who shares your values and back each other up.
- Confront the leader of the pack. Stay firm in your “no” even to the most ‘powerful’ person of the group.
- Consider the results of giving in. Take a moment to think about the consequences of your actions.
- Look for positive role models. Ever notice that the genuine, successful teens at your school are the ones who weren’t afraid to say what they like and don’t like?
- Don’t buy the line that everyone’s doing it. The truth is, everyone’s NOT doing it.
- Seek support. Talk out any peer pressure you’re experiencing with other friends who are also feeling the squeeze. I can be reassuring to know that you’re not the only one.
- Be your own best friend. Remind yourself every now and then that you’re special and nuke any negative statements.
- Find ways to excel. Challenge yourself to do your best. Focus your attention on following your personal goals instead of the goals of the group.
- Don’t pressure others. Watch out for any subtle forms of pressure you may be exerting.
- Speak out! Fight peer pressure by taking the side of the underdog. Supporting others’ opinions will send the message that you think for yourself.
- Watch your moods. Be aware that your moods can affect your sensibility.
- Evaluate your friendships. If your friends are always bugging you to do something you’re not comfortable with, remember that true friends like you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
- Find new friends. If you’ve decided that your friends don’t have your best interests at heart, search out new friends who share your values and interests.
Is Peer Pressure Affecting You?
Enjoying your teen years is important, and they’re a great time to figure out who you are – not who you are told to be.
Am I being peer pressured?
- Do I have friends that influence how I think?
- Are these influences positive (good) or negative (bad)?
- Do I do things because of peer pressure? Do I do things when I don’t want to do them?
- What kind of things are they?
- Do I want to stop being affected by peer pressure?
Am I peer pressuring?
- Do I make fun of someone because they aren’t doing the ‘normal’ thing? Why?
- Do I act differently when I’m with my friends than when I’m at home?
- Do I peer pressure people to try to impress my friends?
- Is that the kind of person I want to be?
Resources
This link takes you to a real-life situation and the advice given by a health professional on peer pressure.
This link provides an overview on peer pressure, questions you can ask yourself.
